Dangling

Why I Watch Week 1

First a short lead-in. If you put up with my massive tweeting on the web or deal with me in person you know that I take college football way too serious. Sorry. I live by the rule that any third down with one or two yards to go should be a fullback run. Always.

I don’t fancy gimmick plays. I love watching a pulling guard (when the offensive guard sprints to the outside of an offensive tackle, becoming lead blocker on a run designed to be bounced outside) get to the second level and lay out smaller guys to spring a 23 yard rush.

Part of the thrill is that the smallest of plays most people take for granted is a potential game changer. On first down your middlelinebacker fills the A-Gap and stops a tailback after a gain of two. All of a sudden second and eight turns into third and eight. That third down limits the offensive playbook. Maybe the quarterback takes a chance fifteen yards down field. He throws a second-quarter interception down seven points. Then your team eats 5:30 off the clock, goes up fourteen to zero and the opponents gameplan alters to an unforeseen, uncomfortable game situation. Half-time adjustments don’t work. Your team wins a September game 20-10 . That win puts you into a conference title game, you win and play in a BCS bowl. Great season, right? I like to look back at the first and ten where the linebacker stopped a designed four to six yard run for two. Every play means something. We just take it for granted.

Now a few Week 1 things to watch outside of the deservedly hyped Oregon vs LSU, Georgia vs Boise State games Saturday night. (Who the hell scheduled those to be on simultaneously anyway?)

Villanova vs Temple: Thursday Night 7pm ESPN3.

Temple’s premier tailback, Bernard Pierce, had a solid seventy-five yards for the Owls in last years 31-24 win between the regional Philadelphia schools. After rushing for 1361 yards in 2009 injuries bit him starting in the Penn State game last year, limiting his potential. But he’s back and hopefully back to the form that had him scamper for 169 yards and two touchdowns in a victory over Big East Champion UConn last season. Maybe he takes that first and ten yard run to the house tonight.

UNLV vs Wisconsin: Thursday Night 8pm ESPN/ESPN3.

The big story is NC State transfer Russell Wilson who people call a Heisman dark horse. Except me. He’ll be playing a better overall defensive conference in the Big Ten and Wisconsin’s strength will be Montee Ball and James White pounding the rock. They will rush successfully on that first and ten.

South Florida vs Notre Dame: Saturday 3:30 NBC.

Skip Holtz and his USF Bulls come to South Bend to see his dad’s statue. If Lou Holtz could make a deal with the devil for Touchdown Jesus to beat his son in game one, leading the Irish to an unpredicted run for a National Championship he would. That’s highly unlikely, but the Irish need to build on last seasons 8-5 record. Meanwhile USF is gaining momentum in Florida recruiting thanks to Miami and U of Florida changing coaches. A question mark goes next to the Irish on running plays, but the defensive line should be strong this year along with All-American linebacker candidate Manti Te’o.

Enjoy the games, the season, and the gap filling linebackers. And, of course, JoePA forever.

Sad news about Amy Winehouse. She joins the Forever 27 club with Morrison, Hendrix, Cobain and Joplin. This is one of my favorite posters. Had it posted in my Freshman dorm (as most would predict). Great work of art.

Sad news about Amy Winehouse. She joins the Forever 27 club with Morrison, Hendrix, Cobain and Joplin. This is one of my favorite posters. Had it posted in my Freshman dorm (as most would predict). Great work of art.

Fun With Your Birth Year

So in a random late night bore I decided it’s about time Americans, nay, THE WORLD has a mandated pet-naming system. Look out Wyoming, I’m taking your right to hate free healthcare next.

Okay it’s about to turn into a textual Rubik’s Cube so stay with me here. Look up each of the following “winners” from whatever year you were born. 

  1. If you get three consecutive consonants move to the first vowel on word number three for non-sports. 
  2. For sports teams use the nickname on each third word if the school or city begins with a consonant. 
  3. If both are consonants for sports revert to rule number one’s vowel rule.
  4. It must make sense in American english, therefore Ch, Th, Pr etc. etc. are suitable connectors. Tq is not. Move to every other vowel if it is more desirable with the three consecutive rule. After all it’s your pet, you should have a little say.
  5. Post a picture of whatever animal you think the name should be assigned to. (Yeah in my pet power trip I ended with a preposition.)
  6. If you don’t have a Tumblr to share this on, get with the program please. Might as well break out your Walkman casette player and acid-wash bandana. 

NBA Champ: Boston Celtics

NHL Champ:Edmonton Oilers

Grossing Movie: Top Gun

NFL Champ: Chicago Bears

MLB Champ: New York Mets

Billboard #1 Song: That’s What Friends Are For by Dionne and Friends

NCAA Football Champ:Penn State

NCAA Basketball Champ: Indiana Hoosiers

And….

PET NAME: Betcetpi

Sounds like a dinosaur! I’d get an iguana if I wasn’t so sure the scales they shed were capable of an evolutionary process from amoeba to an 18-inch creature. Also, you’d need to be a weirdo to like lizardlike pets. Get a cat, dog, turtle, camel, or Fox News production assistant. Happy naming.

I’m sure most of you are sick of reading about my college football love, specifically for my Nittany Lions. I can’t help myself. This line about Penn State’s 1986 National Championship— the first Nittany Lions bowl game I was alive for—a Fiesta Bowl upset over The U (when it was still The U). It is pretty much everything the program strives to be regarding their national image. Being born in October of their historic run must have been a sign nothing  comes between us. Except for my family, friends and dogs of course. January 2nd, 1987. We are….

I’m sure most of you are sick of reading about my college football love, specifically for my Nittany Lions. I can’t help myself. This line about Penn State’s 1986 National Championship— the first Nittany Lions bowl game I was alive for—a Fiesta Bowl upset over The U (when it was still The U). It is pretty much everything the program strives to be regarding their national image. Being born in October of their historic run must have been a sign nothing  comes between us. Except for my family, friends and dogs of course. January 2nd, 1987. We are….

inothernews:

zainyk:

Could this be the greatest tweet?

Well, this whole thing has been a sideshow, Bob.

inothernews:

zainyk:

Could this be the greatest tweet?

Well, this whole thing has been a sideshow, Bob.

We’re only a little over a month away from the 2011 season. It’s been nice not worrying about whether the games will be played, but rather just how unpredictable and incredible it will be.

Bonus since the video shows a freeze frame of Beaver with JoePa within five seconds.

Favorite games attended live:

PSU whiteout win over Notre Dame 2007

Texas comeback over Oklahoma State 2005 (Vince Young over 500 all purpose yards) 

Most important moment: Adam Taliaferro’s return to lead the Lions out of the tunnel. Toughest Penn State player ever.

Pryor. 
thecomedystore:

Comedy Store Merch: Proposed “Legends” Sticker Set

Pryor. 

thecomedystore:

Comedy Store Merch: Proposed “Legends” Sticker Set

comedycentral:

buzzfeed:

Similarities between Arrested Development and The Godfather. With all due respect to the late great John Cazale, he was definitely the Buster of the Corleones.

This probably makes Tobias Carlo, but I think he’s also kind of a Johnny Fontane, so let’s just say Tobias could go both ways.
There really has got to be a better way to say that.

Alright well this is awesome.

comedycentral:

buzzfeed:

Similarities between Arrested Development and The Godfather. With all due respect to the late great John Cazale, he was definitely the Buster of the Corleones.

This probably makes Tobias Carlo, but I think he’s also kind of a Johnny Fontane, so let’s just say Tobias could go both ways.

There really has got to be a better way to say that.

Alright well this is awesome.